Today was a fun day. I had double duty today... double diaper duty that is! lol! Really... I was talking about homeschooling and baby-sitting, but the diaper thing came to mind. My cousin needed a sitter for her darling two, today. Though the day was quite uneventful, it was definitely therapeutic!
You see, ever so often, one gets those baby blues. The feeling that comes on when your "babies" seem to think they are all grown up and don't necessarily think they need you as much as you know they do.
It's when you see your youngest inching ever so close to becoming Mr./Miss Independent you tear up a little. It happened with the other children, and you know it's inevitable! ...but the difference this time is that there is no one crawling across the floor to you, your not rocking anyone in that rocking chair, there will be no more little boo boos to kiss, no lil hand tugging at your shirt-tail, or silly as it might be... no one to hear your own special version of Goldilocks & The Three Bears! um... btw i'm talking 'bout those bears who live in the south 'n trek through the swamp waiting for their Gumbo to cool! lol!
So, yep... that's what I'm going though. My youngest is 6. So far he is still cuddly, lovable, and enjoys being rocked (though he is physically much too big for rocking).... but... (sniff, boo hoo) the other day he yanked off his Thomas tank engine Bible cover that I so carefully & lovingly crafted for him and told me he didn't need it anymore.
I was flabbergasted... Thomas!!!... tossed on the floor!
I mean, of course, I am ever so thankful it wasn't his Bible tossed into the floor, but I knew right then and there... that was some semblance of a metaphor for the innocence and wonder of his childhood... tossed away. He's growing up!!!! and (whine & stomp) I'm just not ready!!! What am I going to do?
And so... I said yes to keeping my cousin's 10month old daughter and 2 year old son. Never in my life did I have to deal with two kids in diapers at the same time. I barely had to deal with bottles and sippy cups at the same time b/c my kids have some distance between them (4 years between the oldest and middle and 4 years between the middle and last). I thought surely I'd be insane by the end of the day, but I wasn't. A wee bit tired, of course, but not miserable or insane!
So that didn't exactly cure my baby blues like everyone said it would. "Keep someone else's, you'll remember why you stopped at three!"... na' don't think so. I think I'd still want to have another BABY if I could. Key word there... BABY b/c It's not the baby thing that scares me!
What scares me is knowing that without a shadow of doubt that baby has to grow up and become a ... ahhh... oooooh... eeek!.... TEENAGER.... bahahahaha!
Yes! Yes! I know it's only a phase...but, that's when the job get's really hard! 'n that's when you really wonder... am I going to go totally insane?!! lol!
Of course there is something positive about it... your prayer life will increase exponentially when your kid hits the teen years! Cry out to Jesus... the words seem to have a whole new meaning, I'll tell ya!
Prayer changes things. I can definitely see a difference when I pray and when I don't... no doubt! A lot of it has more to do with me than it does my teenager, because most of the time I have to pray for God to keep my attitude in check when it comes to dealing with that boy! lol!
While other's are shelling out hundreds of dollars on professional therapy, I have vowed that I will get my therapy from the one we call Counselor...
I am so grateful--
I don't have to make an appointment!
I don't have to drive an hour away!
I don't have to wait in a stuffy room to take my turn!
God's always ready and wiling to listen!
...on my knees seeking HIS guidance, praying for strength HE can only give, and peace that passeth all understanding!
Now that's what I call Therapy!
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