Seriously, now!

School-- Just do it to get through it. It’s not imperative that you do your best; do what you have to do to get by.

I know this had to be my husband’s attitude because my MIL once gave me his last and final report card to take a look at. My jaw dropped! I couldn’t imagine how he passed! Btw you can pass in school with pretty much straight Ds as long as you have another grade here or there that brings you up. Totally unacceptable! Gotta love the public school system for that!

And I, of course, just absolutely love my hubby when he says something like “He’s just like I was. I didn’t see the point. When are you ever going to use that stuff? I still haven’t used it. Not since I did it in college, anyway!”

Well, believe you me… I know I haven’t used much Algebra since college either (other than teaching), but why in the world don’t you think before you let something like that come out of your pie-whole in front of your kid who could already care less about school! His mind is on mowers, baseball bats, hunting, and of course he already knows what he is going to be when he grows up…. Algebra isn’t necessary for that.

Hello… it is a necessary class you must take in college and you will have to go to college for the career your day-dreaming about while you are supposed to be getting that algebra problem done!  Or did someone forget to mention that?

Math/Algebra… I live it, breathe it, eat it…well not really but it’s the 1/4 the pizza thing, ½ a bag of chips, thing, and the calorie counting thing! Don’t forget donuts have a “whole” in the middle! Lol! I’m kidding! I do enjoy math, though, so I guess it is hard for me to understand why my son seems to have such a block with it.

As long as I sit and work the problems with him, allowing him to talk me through it while I write it on the overhead, he can do them time and time again. The moment I sit him down alone and say to do problems 3-10, he literally zones out! He stares at it and does nothing. This is where the “mom won’t help me” bit came in (prior post). Forgive me for thinking he should try and work some problems on his own for a change. Um… that’s how we did it when I taught public school. That is the way it is done. I don’t think his college algebra teacher will go for this method either.

So I’m covertly observing him and it actually looks like he’s asleep…hmm.  I get a little closer. Lean in…be very, very quiet! (Sigh….) He IS asleep!

“Son… Hey… Wake up…” soft and slow

No response.

“Boy, waaaake up!” with that southern drawl again, but a snap on the up to end it along with a thump on the head

“Wha…huh? I’m working?” blinking his eyes

“You were sleeping.”

“Oh… uh… no ma’am.” scratching his head

“That wasn’t a question. I saw you sleeping!”

“uh… I was just thinking.”

“Get that problem done!”  and the eyebrow raise

“Yes, Ma’am.”

And yep, my eyes did a roll! God knows I need some patience! Oh wait… back to the fruits of the spirit again? And I am really feeling it… Longsuffering? I’m going to suffer a long time through the teenage years aren’t I? Yeah, yeah… I know that’s not the interpretation I should be getting from the Good Book. I am trying to be funny… key word in there… trying! You really need a sense of humor if you’re raising a teenager.

Temperance...With a teenager?

“Mom won’t help me!” was the excuse I heard him give to his dad for not completing his Algebra.

“What?” replied my husband.

“I don’t understand and she won’t help me!”

“Did you ask her?”

“Um…”

The rest was basically lost because I was fuming about the words that I am sure weren’t meant for my ears!

I felt a sting similar to the time I accidently went for my cast iron skillet forgetting I that pone of cornbread just came out the hot oven. And oh wee…. that holler that followed! Scary! It was much the same ‘n came just as quick as the one I hollered out when jerking back those burnt fingers!

“WHAT DID YOUuuu JUST SAaaaYyyy? I WOoooN’T HEEELP YOUuuu? ”

‘n don’t forget to add this momma’s southern drawl to it, because I did draw it out most exaggerated I might add!

I then make my way into the room and the lecture begins (I must have been speaking 90wpm)…

“I help you all the time! I spend every moment of my day helping you and attending to your every need! You wanted to buff up, and I commit to waking up an hour earlier to squeeze a workout into our day. You want to go biking, and I go with you most every time. You wanted to go hiking in the KNF with us, though you had not met all your responsibilities (chores and schoolwork), so I took you anyway, because I hate leaving you behind! You have youth events with the church, and I let you go to those, because I know it is important for you to be with other kids your age since you are a homeschooling kiddo & socializing with others your age is important!

I haven’t done some of the things I planned on doing with your brother and sister, because I was too busy doing stuff with you/helping you! Or…I did those things that were supposed to be special and just for them, involved you, and they end up being about you and not about them!

They don’t complain, though I know they’re disappointed! You don’t think about what they give up for your happiness. They want to feel special and important, too!  In return-- you disturb them, pick and poke at them, mess with their stuff, or do anything you can think of to aggravate them.

Our entire world seems to revolve around you and your needs!  How could you act this way? And how could you say that I don’t help you?

We do everything to make you happy! I can’t believe you don’t appreciate what I do for you!”

The color temporarily left the boys face, because he knew good and well that everything I said was absolutely, positivity true. Of course my husband knows that, too, so next I turn to him…

“I can’t believe you let him talk about me this way!”

“Um… you kinda of didn’t give me a chance to say anything!”

And I guess that was true!

Oh the fun of raising a teenage boy! I recall stories from other moms and their teens and I looked at my little guy and told myself, “Oh, that will never be my boy! My kid goes to church, he’s raised up right, & he’s just the sweetest and most loving kid I know! He’ll always think I am the most awesome mom on God’s green earth!”

Rofl! I must have been delusional!

And so… that wasn’t my proudest moment, but I did speak my mind. I know for sure now that whatever amount of praying I was doing, I have got to do a whole lot more. Otherwise I don’t know how I am going to make it through the rest of his teen years! And what is worse, just as we get through the worst ones, the middle child will come into them, and then after 4 years, our youngest will be there.

I have got to get my armor on! And well I better get my basket of fruit, too or I’ll be turning into a basket case!

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance…” (Galations 5:22-23)

Umm… obviously I confused “TEMPERance” for “Temper” when I went off on the boy. Funny thing is-- we have this plastered on our fridge!

Yep… I maybe need to have a little more self-control!

I wish it was as easy as tacking a few apples on my chest, because honestly…it wasn’t the first time I’ve lost my temper on him! I can pretty much guarantee it won’t be the last time! 

Do your kids genuinely enjoy homeschooling?

If you started at home with pre-k or K, don’t answer that question. Actually, I don’t even think you really need to answer the question if you started them at the elementary level. Most kids that age adapt rather quickly. I’m mostly talking about your teenager who was pulled from the public school system. Does he/she like homeschooling? I’m curious if it’s just a boy thing, or if girls are the same way when it comes to the feeling of “missing out” on life.

He’s a lot like his dad when it comes to high school. Getting an education is a must do, because the law says I have to! It’s not really necessary!  The only difference between the two of them is that his dad wasn’t real outgoing. Our boy gets that part from me. Public school was extremely important for one reason and one reason only…socializing! It’s where you hang out with your friends, talk in class, talk at lunch, talk on the bus, and of course there’s the sports!

I get it, I do, but I also knew I had to make the grades! I had the parent who threatened physical punishment for anything less than an A.  The man was ridiculous, but that is an entirely different story.  We don’t talk about him much, so back to the subject… I was lucky to make a B with all of my socializing and what I had to put up with at home. I did make worse grades and took my punishment. I was most likely capable of getting a B with little effort had I kept my mouth shut, but I didn’t. As for straight A’s… That wasn’t likely. I didn’t learn how to study till I got into college. I struggled for a while, but it paid off in the end! I wasn’t top of the class with my 3.67 GPA for my undergrad, but I did get a 4.0 when I graduated with my masters. It wasn’t easy. It’s not supposed to be.

I never pressure my boy to make all A’s (or even all B’s) but I do want him to do his best. I know what he is capable of, but sometimes I feel like he is going to be forever miserable for the simple fact we are home-schooling. Or at least he wants me to feel that way because he’s not getting his endless hours of talking and socializing.

He enjoyed public school. Ask me how I know!...He hardly ever missed school. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to get behind on assignments and the like, though because he NEVER had any of those, nor did he ever have homework… Bahaahaaahaa!

We decided to home school for several reasons. At the top of our list was that our boy was so easily influenced by the world. We envisioned what the high school years could bring about and how he would deal with peer pressure. Our go with the flow, follow the crowd boy… oh you can imagine.  Because he already (just in the 7^th grade) focused too much on socializing than his education, he was very close to failing by the 2nd half of the year. The grades were gradually declining. Assignments weren’t getting done in class. Homework never came home to get done. He was becoming more obsessed with having friends, hanging out, and sports. We knew we had to do some re-directing. He needed to find the JOY in life and not just be full of joy in school.

So our boy is still working on the whole JOY thing (Jesus 1^st, Others 2^nd, Yourself Last), but it’s coming along terribly slow and not without trying to make the rest of us feel miserable for turning his life upside down. He doesn’t realize that there are certain influences you don’t need in your life, and removing them form the equation is an easier way to handle things at this point. As you grow in Christ, one can become more equipped to handle all the good and the bad this world has to offer.

I love the Bible scripture in my header.

“Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

I’m trying! I’m trying, Lord!

‘n a note to all readers who don’t know a thing about homeschooling or happened upon a one of those rare families that lock their kids in the home and never let them out giving the rest of us homeschooling families a bad name… (eyes roll) spare me the replies with a story, please! I am not raising up a socially deprived outcast who won’t be able to function in the real world!

The boy does get to socialize! Yes, the majority of that is with people at Sunday school, youth service, church/outreach events, and family, but he does travel a lot. He goes on hunting trips with his paw paw! I have yet to have the two of them return without a story of meeting someone new, hitting it off, and practically making lifelong friends. Yep, these are adults, but he does well with them. He even befriended one man’s wife and hung out with the entire family for a few hours.

Our vacations are much the same, except he typically meets people closer in his age. On our last cruise, he befriended a bartender. We’re not drinkers, but the guy was assigned to our area of the dining room. They got to talking here and there and even when he wasn’t working the dining room. On the last day, they swapped contact info.

There is definitely something about him! Complete strangers become best friends in a matter of minutes! One guy even passed off his iPhone 4 to him to play games with while he was break dancing. He could have ran off with that $300 device and tossed it overboard or gave it to his mom…lol! … yeah… I know! I would have given it back! Maybe…lol! Jk!

Anywayz….He’s never made a person, young or old that he hasn’t found something in common with and eventually called friend. He maintains those relationships and the relationships from public school via phone and online, so he’s not socially inept. But I guess some resentment to what he ‘thinks’ he is missing out on is expected. We all know there is nothing like hanging out with your buds at lunch, ya know.